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The first step to living an aligned life is deciding what “aligned life” means for you.

What does it look like? What does it FEEL like? What do YOU want to feel like?

Sounds easy enough, right?

Here’s where things go sideways... we can’t answer any of these questions in a truly authentic way because we are buried under the stories of what we learned to be true about ourselves in childhood.

Our frame of reference and how big we can dream is inhibited by what we learned, from a young age, that we are or are not good at. And who we should and shouldn’t be based on the feedback we received about ourselves along the way.

You were Born Magic. It’s time to remember.

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Why is it that some seven-year-olds are able to keep their rooms clean or organize their folders and backpacks while some aren’t?

Why is it that some seventeen-year-olds can manage every bit of the high school experience flawlessly while others can’t remember their lunch money, homework, or what class they are supposed to be going to even after three years of doing the same thing each and every day?

Why is it that Kim at the office can find the time to bake homemade cookies for the breakroom, do yoga every morning, and take tiny humans to soccer while you can barely remember what day of the week it is?

The answer lies in executive function skills.

These are the skills that help you organize things and ideas, start and complete tasks, manage multiple ideas at one time, and understand the way other people around you are thinking.

Now this gets interesting: these skills develop in various capacities anywhere between the ages of three and eighteen, and aren’t fully developed until age twenty-five for many people.

I’m simplifying and distilling this idea down for the purpose of the book, but this should bring us to a screeching halt.

Some people learn to start tasks all on their own as young as six years old. Others may not develop this skill until they are twelve. Let’s do the math: that is a six year timeframe.

Some people will learn to manage a calendar and break big tasks into smaller ones as young as thirteen, and others may be twenty-five before this skill is fully developed. Twelve years. There are twelve years for this skillset to fully form.

What does this have to do with living an aligned life?

Every-freaking-thing.

The first step to living an aligned life is deciding what “aligned life” means for you.
What does it look like? What does it FEEL like? What do YOU want to feel like?
Sounds easy enough, right?

Here’s where things go sideways (and where we circle back to executive function skills)... we can’t answer any of these questions in a truly authentic way because we are buried under the stories of what we learned to be true about ourselves in childhood.

Our frame of reference and how big we can dream is inhibited by what we learned, from a young age, that we are or are not good at. And who we should and shouldn’t be based on the feedback we received about ourselves along the way.

The development of your executive function skills, and whether or not they met the expectations of the grown ups around you at any point, created your inner dialogue and what you think to be true about yourself. These skills impact every action you take and decision you make, impacting every area of your life.

For eighteen years or more of your life you learned what you are and are not capable of through the lens of external expectation.

Sit with that for a minute.

Read it again: for eighteen years or more of your life, your formative years, you learned what you are and are not capable of through the lens of external expectation.
The cherry on top of this rubbish sundae is that these standards were all created to create standard humans. If you’re reading this, you’re anything but standard.

And that’s a very good thing.